All Posts Tagged with "family"
My next gal up Andrea Arrie-Devoe is one super person. She is a writer, a nurturer, and a visionary. Andrea has been a friend and a client for years. Her story and this shoot are a culmination and celebration of so many facets coming together. The shoot was an opportunity to celebrate mommy-hood and family with a little fashion fantasy, putting together an eccentric, cool family session inspired by some of Andrea’s favorite artists such as Julie Blackmon. When we started developing the concept, I knew we had to enlist the amazing stylist, Mary Kinney (of Style Army and Sister Brother) to join forces on some good ole fashion, girly fun! This shoot is also, and more importantly, a celebration of a mother, a family, and a year filled with awakenings (Andrea’s son Henry was diagnosed with provisional autism), challenges and modifications, devotion and love within a family, a rebirth of priorities, and the celebration of a new lifestyle and understanding. Andrea has always been dynamic, but her story of how she and her husband Mike came together to help Henry get the best care and create a more successful environment for him is truly inspiring. Here’s a little more on Andrea and why I have always thought (and now even more) that this lady is something special.
Andrea…I am a freelance writer and editor. I worked on a regular basis until Henry turned two, and then circumstances dictated that I was most needed at home. I am starting to work a little more now that Henry is in school as a contributing editor for Beso.com. I love cooking, designing, gardening, and the environment.
I am a constant. I keep the wheels turning. I make the smoothies and the oatmeal every morning, I give the last kisses before bed every night. I feel very identified with Hestia, the goddess of the Hearth+Home but it’s a struggle not to cave in to societies pressures to be more. Studies show that multitasking is hazardous to our mental health and yet its become the foundation of our culture. It’s not to say that a woman shouldn’t work or have her passions, its just that the work of a mother, the work of tending a home can feel so undervalued in our society.
My son is teaching me how to be patient and present. Two major lessons I need to learn. He’s also teaching me how to accept what is rather than forcing life to conform to some fantasy or vision in my head. Kind of like the ugly stepsisters forcing the glass slipper to fit in the Cinderella myth. There’s a lot of grief that comes when the illusion dies. But at the same time, there is an awakening and a feeling of completeness when we are able to really experience a moment with our children that is unadulterated by empty chatter in our heads. At least this is true for me!
My most humbling moment as a mom…My son was diagnosed with provisional autism when he was 2.9 years old. The diagnosis was devastating but at the same time it felt like a relief. It wasn’t just my imagination playing tricks on me. Before we were educated about what was going on, I couldn’t understand why it was so challenging to do things with Henry that seemed easy for my other mom friends. At the park, if I turned my head for a second he might bite another child’s toes or run off somewhere. I would never be able to sit down and chat because I was always running after him. I usually ended up leaving wherever I was, exhausted and furious. He just never wanted to play in the same way that the other kids did. At first it was kind of funny because he would more often than not be playing in the dirt at play dates, sprinkling the earth between his fingers and making little piles. And we would say, there’s Henry in the dirt again. Eventually, it stopped being cute and I would complain at my mom’s group that the dirt was driving me insane. We would find little dirt piles all over the backyard, like a dog trying desperately to find a bone he buried a long time ago.
Before the diagnosis I worked part-time and I would constantly beat myself up and say, why can so-and-so work and still be a great mom? What am I doing wrong? Why can’t I handle this? Knowing that I had to get real help and that I needed to stop everything to learn how to teach my son differently was a major wake-up call. I had no choice but to press the pause button to re-evaluate my priorities. I have never been good at asking for help or taking it unless I am completely falling apart. And usually I have no idea how overwhelmed I am until I’m hysterically crying in a puddle on the floor. I always knew I was a control freak but I couldn’t really see it until I became a mother to Henry.
The whole experience has been an incredible journey—even though we’re eons away from that first, raw grieving place, it’s still hard to write about it and be separate from it because we’re still on the road. We’re really blessed because Henry is extremely high functioning and all the early intervention is paying off—most people would never realize that there was anything different about him. But, they also wouldn’t know that he has had a team of incredible people all dedicated to his wellbeing and success since the age of 2 and a half. At one point, I went to see a woman who practices family constellation work and she told me that the upside to “the knot in Henry’s brain” was that he would get to know so many beautiful people who love children and who care so much for him. That really resonated with me especially since I sometimes joke that Henry is like the President with his team of advisers. From the straightforward behaviorist who told us in no uncertain terms that Henry was moderately autistic and that we needed to have him diagnosed ASAP to the speech and occupational therapists and teachers and other parents we have met going through the same thing, our community has grown to include inspiring, dedicated people who we never would have met otherwise. Granted, there are days when I wish it could all be simpler and we didn’t have to schlep from one therapy to the next or watch his behaviors like a hawk-eyed clinician. I don’t have the fantasy as often as I did in the beginning but every once in a while I just wish we could all wake up one day and everything would be normal. But, what does “normal” really mean, after all?
I try to keep things as simple as possible without totally throwing in the towel. I try never to wear yoga pants or gym clothes in public unless absolutely necessary. For me its just as easy, if not easier, to throw on a casual dress with sandals. Of course, living in Southern California helps. I am a Tata Harper devotee and wash and moisturize my face twice a day religiously. I wear Laura Mercier powder and maybe a little blush. I should do more, probably, as I get older.
My husband is an amazing man. Whenever I am in doubt on what to do about something, I ask myself what would Mike do because I know he would always do the right thing. Mike works really hard and his passion for his work is an admirable quality for Henry to witness. He always carves out time to go on a bike ride with Henry or to take him to his favorite museum. We try to do a date night at least once a week and a sleepover date once a month.
Henry is 3…A few of his favorite things…Buses. Henry is obsessed with Buses. He loves to jump on his trampoline, swim, and ride his trike.
We are very religious about our coffee and smoothie ritual in the morning. Henry helps me grind coffee, turn off the kettle, and press the button on the blender. We also like to wait outside on the couch on the porch for visitors. The vintage-inspired wallpaper gives Henry’s room a classic feel. Its pretty streamlined. Clutter can be overwhelming for kids, especially mine.
A day in the life…It makes me tired just thinking about it. But here goes, Monday we have ABA in the am, preschool in the afternoon… Tuesdays, social skills from 8:30-10:30 then clinic, and then more ABA; Wednesdays ABA in the am, then preschool, Thursdays OT and swimming in the am, preschool in the afternoon, Fridays ABA and preschool… Saturdays OT and swimming. Plus, I am always making sure there are plenty of playdates. I envision myself being a really laissez-faire mom, just letting the days unfold for Henry as they may but he needs a lot of structure.
Best advice…I am reading an amazing book right now called Simplicity Parenting. In this high speed world of so many choices and exposure to too much too fast, kids are being deprived of a real childhood. They know too much and are expected to grow up so quickly. The author links the rise in childhood anxiety and disorders like ADHD to the omnipresence of media in the home as well as a glut of toys and overextended parents. The bottom line, keep it simple. That’s pretty much my motto these days.
I try to go easy on the blogs but I love Macaroon Original, Babyccino Kids, and Smaller (Small Magazine’s Blog). You can also check out my favorite kids boutique picks on Beso.com
Everyday something exciting happens but when Henry first started riding his bike I got really excited watching him. He is a superstar on that thing already doing tricks. And while he has taken some spills, he has this uncanny ability to avoid cracks and bumps on the sidewalk. It’s weird. The most humbling would have to be my husband teaching me how to breastfeed via youtube videos after we got home from the hospital. I was such an emotional wreck and couldn’t figure out how to get Henry to latch on, but, I finally got the hang of it!
All of the parents we talked to in the beginning whose children had been through what we were going through and had come out the other side told us flat out that they wouldn’t want to be in our shoes, that the diagnosis is the hardest, most painful part of the process. There is a lot of necessary grief that comes with letting go of what you thought your child or your life was going to be. But, they all also said they wouldn’t have traded the experience for the world. A year and a half later, I absolutely agree. My husband and I have grown so much closer as a result. We really had to come together to work as a team. We’ve been given an opportunity to learn how to listen to our son and to one another. We don’t take anything for granted. So, if I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing either.
Special thanks to our retailers…Elizabeth Charles, Caren Templet, Julius Clothing, Franco Ferrini Shoes, Hamilton Jewelers, Puddles, and Koukla Kids.
Oh my gosh what a lovely lady Amy is! I just knew this project would be oh-so fitting for her and she definitely did not disappoint. Amy opened her heart and home to me and shared intimate and fun stories of her son Hudson. I was so honored when I photographed her wedding several years ago (and I just love her hubbie Alan). And now sharing this time with her, made me realize all the milestones we have experienced together. Amy is truly an enchanting woman. She is full of smiles and brings smiles to everyone she encounters. I am so happy to share her story. Oh and by the way, the second woman in the pics is Amy’s sweet angel of a sister Laura, the best Auntie YaYa out there.
Amy…I am Amy Parker-mom to Hudson, wife to Alan, ringmaster to my two dogs & two cats and executive director of my crazy and wonderful life.
My work life is nuts and very challenging. My company of 12 years, Splendora, was acquired last year and I am now working for our acquirer, Joyus. We are still in start up mode and I head up Business Development. We are on to something amazing, but it’s never been done before and it requires all of my focus when I am working.
Tell me about your passions…Oh so many! And working on bringing many old passions back into my life. Aside from spending every spare minute with my family, I love to cook, garden, travel, try amazing wine…
As a mom, I bring lots to the table…silliness, wonderment, flexibility, ease, and confidence in myself and my ability to be a great mom.
I have learned that Hudson is his own being-his own soul. He has his own rhythms and schedule and if I pay attention I can usually figure out what he needs, even if that means just entertaining himself.
What was life like for you as a child…Aside from the confusion and stresses of my parents divorcing when I was five, I had an amazing childhood. My parents gave my boundaries, but plenty of flexibility and space within those boundaries to be myself, to be creative and figure things out. And we had a ton of fun-always laughter and love in our house. It was me, my mom, and my sis…we were and always will be the Hudson Girls.
I used to be the expert on all things pampering…weekly manis, regular facials and massages. That’s definitely changed since I became a mom and I’m trying to figure out how to make more time for those little personal indulgences. Currently I keep it pretty simple, although I have to keep up appearances for work and I probably take more time on my style and beauty routine during the work week. (Btw, note…Amy swears by Prtty Peaushun above, Jouer Cosmetics’ Luminizing Moisture Tint, and VitaMedica Anti-Anging Skincare Supplements).
My partner…Alan and I are a team We went into the adoption process and ultimately parenting this amazing little boy as a team…dedicated and fully in it together. Hudson was never physically dependent on me (breast feeding, etc) and because of this, I think it gave Alan a chance to bond with him and be super involved in every moment since Hudson was born. We do not have a pre-set division of duties. We figure it out every single day based on Hudson’s needs. We greet Hudson every morning together, often tripping over one another just to be the one getting to Hud’s door first when he wakes.
Alan often spends more time with him in the mornings, since I am rushing to the office. He runs his own business so his schedule is more flexible. This is the key for us as my work schedule has gotten crazier and I have started traveling. But because he’s self employed, he’s always ON and I just try to give him the space he needs to focus in and grow.
It is always chaotic and we’re both just trying to find the balance. Some days and weeks prove to be a greater struggle, but we manage and get through, usually with a lot of humor involved. Alan is such an incredible daddy and it just melts my heart to see them together. Alan is my rock and he’s our family rock. He has always made us the priority.
The best advice I have been given…I received two pieces of amazing advice. The first was from our Aunt Linda. She said, “Take the help where ever you can get it”. The second from our caseworker to take some time for ourselves alone, as a family, after Hudson was born. We cocooned ourselves for a week and it was the most amazing time to just be together and bond.
The most exciting moment and the most humbling moment as a mother are for me one-in-the-same. The moment I became a mother. I held our birthmother’s hand as she gave birth to Hudson. I watched as he entered this world and the nurse informed us that we had a son, (not the daughter we were expecting!). Our birth-mom looked at us and said “Go to him. He is your son and always has been”. I realized at that moment I was meant to be Hudson’s mom. We were meant to be a family.
My advice to other moms…Have as much patience with yourselves, as you try to have with your child.
Hudson is madly in love with his animals. He doesn’t know life without a tail wagging in his face, a kitty purring in his ear, or juicy kisses from his pups. He loves his racetrack, his teddy, and his beautiful homemade blankie from Gigi. He’s crazy about books. He loves checking himself out in the mirror. A fun activity we play, Wall Candy Arts. And lastly he loves his Radio Flyer tricycle and his newest toys, A Tarheel Basketball and Hoopset, that hangs on his pack and play…this is of course from SueSue.
Right now, our favorite activity is to walk all over the house and chase the animals. We spend a lot of time playing with toys, dancing around, and being silly. We spend hours reading his fave books like Tickle Monster, Guess How Much I Love You (an all time fave), and That’s Not My Train. Mommy and Daddy’s favorite time is morning-when we first wake up and bring him into bed. On weekends, its all about the boys and soccer on the TV. I wish this time could last for hours. We also love our park time up the street. Hudson loves the swing and slide.
My day starts at around 6:30am. I like to get started so that I am at least half way ready when Hudson wakes up at 7am. We still bring him into bed with us and hang out for an hour, until his nanny arrives. After that, it is breakfast together and I am off to work. I try to get home by 5pm so that we have a few hours together as a family…dinner, walk the dogs, and playing at the park. No matter what we are doing, its family time. And Hud is off to bed by 7:30pm, and then, we have couple time!
Your child’s fashion style and decor of room…Clean and simple, with pops of colors, comfortable and not fussy. That said, I am a sucker for the precious, sweet baby clothes, especially for the holidays. I’ve got my eye on a darling Easter outfit that is smocked, and while all the ladies in the room will love it, I am sure the men will be rolling their eyes. I am ok with that!
I was lucky enough to have my sister, Laura out during the shoot. We call her YaYa and she is the best aunt ever! Hudson adores her and he runs to her to reach for a hug every time he sees her. It’s been such a special treat to have her out for three weeks. She works for Alan’s company and we are working hard to make her a permanent residence. She’s so good with Hudson, a total natural and it makes me happy to watch the two of them together. She’s the best sis, the best aunt, and the best friend a mom could ever have!
…Thank you for including me Lauri! We had so much fun and I am beyond thrilled to be a part of “The Moms Project”. Lots of love, Amy.
Amy came to me via another client, Monique and her adorable family, and I am so glad she did. Amy is a talented graphic designer via her company iNK and I always love collaborating with other visionaries. And when I met her family, husband John and two kids, Ella and Layne… I realized what an easy collaboration it would be. A darling family! We decided on two of my favorite spots for winter shooting, Chrissy and the Presidio. Both have stunning light at this time in the year. And the use of a shallow depth of field created this ethereal feel for the woods. I love the interaction and play of this beautiful family. Shooting them was definitely a treat. Oh and special thanks to Layne’s stuffed elephant,”puppy”, who made sure everyone was supported and happy!
Liz and Errol got married in January at the gorgeous Old St.Hilary’s Church in Tiburon. It was an amazing day with the sun shining.
The wedding went off without a hitch and it was wonderful to see such a great couple come together. I had taken Liz and Errol’s engagements in December, for a little practice in front of the camera and, more importantly, to document their new daughter to be. Liz was five months pregnant and they are expecting a gorgeous little girl named London Olivia. And although I could share numerous photos of this wonderful wedding event, what struck me the most about this couple is how they are bringing two families together in such a loving and caring way. Errol’s kids, Miranda and Lewis, couldn’t be more excited about the couple and Olivia’s arrival. And it shows in the pictures. I adore the couple’s first moment and how the kids and pregnancy are intertwined with this special time for all. I am looking forward to London’s arrival, they will be amazing parents again. Thanks to my second shooter Jessica Epstein for her wonderful contributions.
At 13 months, adorable Lucas is going to be a big brother. And yes at 36 weeks, my client Nancye is about to embark on another great adventure with her sweet husband Matt and their soon-to-be son Mason James. Yes, this woman was meant to be a momma! With back to back pregnancies, this lady is amazing as she takes it all in stride and finds the most wonderful humor in all of it. She is an inspiration for sure, as I am endlessly working out the balance of life with one toddler. I loved Nancye from the minute I talked to her via phone. Her energy, enthusiasm, and wit are infectious. And it was even more fun to learn that we had a connection in her brother, as he had been one of my friends at good ole USC’s Pardee dorm. We had a ball the day of. The sun was shining. And I even made “Miss Urban” ( a bit of an exaggeration) jump into the bushes for a “artsy” belly shot. They are laughing, but I love the results. I can’t wait to meet their new one to be. Hope he comes into the world really soon, we don’t want to wait too long.
Gosh, it has been quite awhile since I have checked in. With five plus shoots a week, the blog has definitely taken a backseat. Luckily this winter, I will have plenty to showcase as I keep shooting as the sun keeps shining. You would think December would mellow out, but everyone is in such a trigger happy mood. I love it. And I love that I was able to photograph my dear friends, The Francos, this past month on one of the most stunning days of the year. Seriously, not one stitch of wind. And we were oceanside. I just love this family, love Judah (I call him Little Bugs), and of course, Miel…the wonder dog. Check out Miel in her most model-esque poses! This dog should have had a boa or something special, she’s so pretty.
I was so happy when I got the call to photograph one of my fave families again, The Nagpals. And even better news, they are expecting another adorable baby this December. So not only did I get to catch up with their sweet kids, Reyna and Jay, but I felt honored documenting Ritu’s belly and baby-to-be. I can’t wait to see and photograph their new addition. And as always, we had a ball shooting. Reyna even brought me a beautiful drawing to start the day.
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